“Let me take care of you,” were the words I felt come right out of my spirit, as I sat on my bed on the first day of the New Year. I was sitting in silence, having just finished praying, asking God to share his thoughts with me about the year that was starting. I knew it was the Holy Spirit speaking, but he wasn’t saying what I was expecting. I was expecting instructions, plans or maybe a prompting in my spirit to do something. So when I heard those words, I was at a loss; it was as if God had not said anything at all.
Knowing that the Holy Spirit never speaks without cause, I pondered that statement. The more I thought about it, something dawned on me. The Holy Spirit reminded me of a scripture I had been meditating on a few weeks earlier in Isaiah 46:4; “I made you and will take care of you. I will carry you and save you.” (New Century Version) Since then that scripture has been a lifeline to me as I find myself in a very difficult season in my life. When it seems as if the world is closing in on me, I say it over and over again, keeping it constantly in my mind in order to drown out the voices of fear, doubt and unbelief.
As soon as I remembered that scripture I knew that it had something to do with what the Holy Spirit was saying. The one difference I recognised was that the scripture said that God would take care of me, but the Holy Spirit was asking me to let him take care of me. It became apparent to me that God wanted to take care of me but that somehow, I wasn’t letting him. We all know that God never does anything without our consent; he doesn’t force even his blessing down our throats unless he is invited and welcomed. The Holy Spirit told me that I wasn’t letting him take care of me. It was a harsh truth to swallow. Had you asked me, I would have told you that I am totally submitted, surrendered and yielded to God and to the guidance of his Holy Spirit. Yet here was the Spirit himself stating otherwise.
The doubts that I sometimes had, the fears, the unbelief all attested to the fact that I wasn’t totally yielded to God, because when these came, I would question, second-guess and make alternative plans in case what God told me didn’t actually happen or he wouldn’t come through. When the Holy Spirit said to let him, he was actually saying I should yield to him. As soon as all this came to light, I prayed, repenting of my unyielding behaviour and attitude and started confessing over and over again, “Lord, I am letting you take care of me.” I crowded my mind with that thought, to the point where, when a negative thought entered my mind, instead of fighting it off I just overpowered it with the thought that I have let God take care of me and that he will, because he is faithful.
After this quiet time with the Holy Spirit, I quit asking God for plans, instructions and the like, and just focused on yielding to him and letting him take care of everything. As if to prove his point, the very next day I was talking to a pastor whom I am close to and she just happened to come up with a solution to a problem I had been having for months, which was causing me so much distress. In one unplanned encounter, after yielding to God, he just solved the problem right there and then!
Having heard the saying; let go and let God, so many times before, I now see it in a completely different light. To me it is no longer a saying to just throw around casually, but a promise from God that if I let him, he will take care of me and mine. So I start this year on a high note, eagerly waiting to see the wonders God is going to do in my life as I let him.